Emotional Rollercoaster

It's funny how some weeks I can be on cloud nine about our plans to adopt and others I feel crushed by the test of patience we have and are enduring. A couple of weeks ago we were made aware of a birthmom in Missouri who was going to put her unborn baby up for adoption, she is a friend of Troy's cousin. Deep down I knew this was not what was meant to be, but of course you get wrapped up in the what if's. I called a lawyer to see what the process would be considering the birthmom had a month left before her due date. He said that it could happen within a month if we were to get ahold of the birthmom directly and discuss plans. That night we heard that she decided to work with Social Services to keep her baby. Although I told myself I wouldn't let myself get upset if it didn't work out, I was still sad. I pray she is making the right decision for both her and her baby and honestly want nothing but the best for them.

I am tired of waiting and yet the waiting hasn't even begun. Once we do start the process and get the paperwork together it could easily be another 1-2 year wait. I try not to think that far ahead though, because it makes me want to scream. The more I think about how money is the only thing holding us back from starting the process the more depressed I get. How unfair it is that there are so many orphans in the world and so many families wanting children and yet it costs so much to unite the two.

Thank God for my Mama! I talked to her for a long time this morning. I tend to keep all my emotions bottled up, but somehow when I talk to her my emotions surface. I am so grateful for her support, everyone should be as lucky as me! After I talked to her today I opened up my e-mail and read my God's Minute e-mail I receive everyday. The e-mails almost always are exactly what I need to get through the day and today was no exception:

Today and everyday we should praise our Heavenly
Father; For great is the Lord and most
worthy of praise; He is to be feared above all
gods. ( 1 Chronicles 16:25 )

After all, it is written; The righteous cry out,
and the Lord hears them; He delivers them
from all their troubles. Also; The Lord is
close to the brokenhearted and saves those
who are crushed in spirit. ( Psalms 34:17-18 )

Further, Because of your father's God, who
helps you, because of the Almighty, who
blesses you with blessings of the heavens
above/ ( Genesis 49:25 )

Therefore, Praise be to the God and Father
of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us
in the heavenly realms with every spiritual
blessing in Christ. ( Ephesians 1:3 )