Here I go...

Well here I am. So much to say and yet clueless on how to put it into words. I have often wondered what it would be like to be called by God. I have heard the phrase, but had not truly experienced the meaning until recently. Have you ever had a desire so strong that it consumes your every thought and grips so tightly at your heartstrings you think they may snap? I may sound a bit overdramatic here, but yes I have been called by God and no I did not see it coming, but then again that is what makes it even more wonderful! If there is one thing I have learned it is that God truly does have a plan for our lives and although it may not be what we had in mind, it is remarkable in every sense of the word.



Flashback to more than two years ago, my husband Troy and I have a beautiful 1 1/2 year old daughter Peyton. She is fun-loving, spunky, and the joy of our lives. We never questioned if we would have more children, but when we would have more. Now seemed like the right time, but little did we know it would not be, not now, not a year from now, not even two years from now. Of course we were heartbroken, many tears have been cried over a baby very much wanted, absent from our reality, yet still living in our dreams.



God slowly began nudging me. I would begin to think about adoption, but would try to block God out. After all this was not in MY plans. Last year I was diagnosed with MTHFR a blood disorder that was more than likely the reason for my secondary infertility and I was put on medication. I had renewed hope that THIS was it. Well, it was not. Once again heartbreak and tears. Troy, thank you for your support and strength you have been my rock and I love you!



God's nudges became a little harder and I began to pay more attention to Him. Afterall, I figured He may know something I didn't. I began to research adoption. I bought a step by step book on the adoption process. I knew absolutely nothing about the process and found out quickly it can be very overwhelming. I decided not to give up and continued researching. As I began to research different countries I came across Ethiopia. I literally gasped the first time I saw the eyes of one of the millions orphaned. Their eyes are absolutely stunning, my heart ached for these children. I believe in that moment God opened the floodgates to my heart. The more I read about these children and how millions of their futures will be cut short by AIDS, poverty, and starvation I knew. I knew that God was calling us to adopt from Ethiopia.



I have heard the words "It will happen" in regards to me becoming pregnant more than I can count over the past two years. It may. It may not, and for the first time I am okay with that, because God has a plan in the works for us. This verse has stood out to me time and time again and it gives me great hope. "Trust in the Lord will all your heart and lean not on your own understanding: in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3: 5,6

Yes, adoption is expensive and yes it will be trying and require a great deal of patience, but I know in my heart we are meant to adopt and I can only pray that God will continue to guide us through this upcoming journey.